WW: House Fire

The upstairs bathroom- all of the porcelain is smoke stained.

The master bedroom.

The kitchen.

The corner where we first smelled burning plastic. The fire was already burning under the kitchen floor and had gone into the vents and was burning whatever was in front of it.

A good idea of what all of the vents are now looking like.

The basement stairwell.

The vent in the boys bedroom, right next to the chimney (which the fire had also gotten into).

The stairwell upstairs. This wall was knocked out to get to the fire in the chimney.

This used to be the hall going downstairs to the basement. Now a breezeway to the kitchen.

The kitchen. We can't go into it because the timbers under it are burned to a crisp.

One of the dining room windows. Axes and wood window frames are not a winning combo.

From the back door looking up the stairwell. The kitchen is on the left.

"He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress. My God, in Him I will trust. Surely He shall deliver me from the snare of the Fowler, And from the perilous pestilence. He shall cover me with His feathers. And under His wings I shall take refuge. His truth shall be my shield and buckler. I shall not be afraid of the terror by night, Nor the arrow that flies by day, nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness, nor the destruction that lays waste at noonday.

Psalm 91: 1-6

Puddleglum and Life's Purpose

I cry and grieve and heave trash bags full of life's stuff to the front yard.
Awaiting a bigger dumpster to haul it away, where it will live unceremoniously as land-fill.

Stuff, after all, is what there is too much of.
Getting in the way of people, vision, callings.
But, true confessions, I have doubts. I question. I want comfort. I want a place of rest. I want beauty, if only in a couch these days.

I watch idealistic children, those we've raised, who have plans and purposes way beyond comfy couches, challenge me.
But I'm middle aged enough to question. Have we chosen well?
Did we really follow a greater calling?
Or are we lunatics?
If I blame him, am I off the hook? Do I have to participate in owning the crazy part of how we've lived and why?
Banking on ideas and prayer that sounds like we are people of the corn instead of mature, educated, thoughtful and deliberate.

doubts and questions. Yes. And my man answers that it's all about Puddleglum. How's that for an educated repsonse? The hope of what we live for beats all hollow the reality others have. Truly. I'm spared my own melancholiness by a children's story that is part of the DNA of our family so much that we all know the reference and refer to the character as a beloved member of the family.

And I'm comforted. I can rest. I'm assured. The reality is that I'm too timid to be a pragmatist. I need more. I need hope and beauty and comfort and the assurance that I'll see those I've loved again who have died. That there is a greater purpose than the mundane. That the stuff is secondary to the hopes and plans my God has for me.

Me and Puddleglum and my idealistic Man and our idealistic children and C.S. Yep. My people. Our hope.

Me & Mother West Wind

As we are sorting and bagging and throwing most of our household possessions away I am caught off guard by what hurts.

My mom was adopted, but remained motherless until she was 8 years old. When she was 8 my Grandpa married the women who became my Grandma. She's 93 now and a shadow of herself, though her eyes are still soft and brown and warm and full of life. Her nickname was "Kitty" and if you knew her you'd know that it fits.

My mom couldn't read when Gram first came to the house so she made it her mission to teach her.

They spent every morning of that first summer together with Gram reading mom Shakespeare. Then Mom would read to Gram. At the end of the week, as a reward, Gram would take Mom to the 5 & Dime in their Windy City neighborhood and Mom could pick out a Mother West Wind book. She had a small collection of Original Mother West Wind stories, with the original covers and the original 35 cent price on the cover.

When Mom was sick and she and Dad moved for her health they downsized everything and somehow the Mother West Wind stories made it to me. I'd loved them as a child. The stories are sweet and the pages are soft and the hardback covers are sturdy and the covers are simple and lovely. They held a place of honor, in my mind at least, in the built in bookshelf in our living room.

Right where the fire was bad, the smoke horrible, the fire hose turned on full blast. The bookshelf burned and while there is some of the books left they came out of the bookshelf as one chunk, charred and burned and frail and damaged.

I'm grieving for the books. And for my mom who never got better but died instead; for my sister who is gone and with whom I've shared books and stories all of my life; for my Gram who has valued education and being a woman and faith and family and who is now frail and wispy; and for my house, which has been a home and a place of safety and refuge, which is empty and burned and full of choking smoke.

A book is such a small thing, really. But like KB said, our home was a home of ideas, like the books we've read so many times they've become part of us and the people that we've loved, imperfectly but for years,, so much that to imagine the world without them seems incomprehensible. Ideas and possibilities and hopes and dreams. And it's hard to go to the next thing yet because this season of throwing away and saying good-bye is intertwined with so much at once. The house and my family and memories and people and stories and good and hard.

I am trusting, once again, in words. Spoken by a man whose ideas and hopes have captured and captivated me for a quarter of a century. Words, stories, hope.

"I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds." John 12:24.

The Richness of a Christian Funeral

My pastor recently blogged about the "Poverty of modern Christian funerals. You can read about it here: http://stevehickey.wordpress.com/2009/10/13/the-poverty-of-modern-christian-funerals/. He links an article in Christian Century, describing the current trends in Christian funerals, which you can read about here. http://www.christiancentury.org/article.lasso?id=7852 I read all of this with interest a couple of weeks ago, totally unsuspecting that I would be trekking east to attend the untimely funeral of my sister.

I've always liked my brother-in-law. I've known him since I was 15 and we've been good friends ever since. He is a solid, smart, funny, practical and wise man. He loved my sister well, despite a chronic illness that changed her personality, humor and abilities. I have the highest respect for him and love him all the more for his faithfulness and love for Sue. And honestly, for the funeral that he created. My sisters funeral was decidedly Christian, recognizing the hope of heaven. It allowed us time to cry and grieve together, was full of ritual and liturgy, songs that ministered to our heart hurt and focused on God's saving grace. For that I am forever grateful. The ritual of funeral allowed us to say "good-bye" to our daughter, sister, wife, mother and friend,with dignity and peace and also allowed us the opportunity to focus on the fact that we would see her again.

Doug chose a beautiful spray of roses for the coffin that was huge and colorful. Before they lowered the coffin, the pastor gave roses to the women, starting with her daughter, my sister and I. He handed me a red one and I cried. Cried for the love of my sister; cried for the loss that is now in my life; cried for what's to come. Cried for the hope of heaven and for healing. Thank-you Sue, for the beauty of your life. Thank-you Doug for celebrating it well.

From An Acceptable Time, by Madeline L'Engle, (with a slight revision), "All I know is that Sue gave me great riches, and we would, all of us, be less than we are if it weren't for those we love and who've loved us who have died."

TMI

It's been a long week, full of family and loss, tears and thoughts. Read a Madeline L'Engle book on the long way home after visiting my dear 93 year Gram in Chicago. Words heal.

The biggest laugh I had all week was in the middle of Nowheresville, IN in a vile little truck stop bathroom. I'm talking nasty. You could smell the sewer 10 feet from the bathrooms, they were stained and unclean, with not enough water, soap or paper towels available. But, sometimes a nasty bathroom is better than no bathroom and this was one of those times. I pulled out a required feminine product and there written on the side was this little gem,

"Live dangerously."

Seriously. Who gets paid to come up with this stuff? The real joke was in thinking just how dangerous using the aforementioned bathroom was.

Roaring Banners

His banner
His banner over me.
A roar
Lion of Judah roars.
The whole earth trembles.


Hears from the greatest to the least.
Small, infinitesimal particles and out beyond the heavens.
I breathe.
Not do, say, think, hear, know, understand.
Breathe.

The Roar.
The Lion.
My banner.
Over Me.


The demons flee
banished to outer darkness.
And then.
Life for death.
Healing for ill.
Joy for tears.
Beauty for ashes.


The roar drowns out the doubt.
Fills the void and then,
Light grows. Warm, vibrant. Beauty unspeakable.
A banner.
A banner over me.
Love. Perfected Love.

Jesus.
His Name.
His banner.
His roar.
His banner over me.
I breathe.


Isa 59:19
So shall they fear The name of the LORD from the west, And His glory from the rising of the sun; When the enemy comes in like a flood, The Spirit of the LORD will lift up a standard against him.

My First Best Friend.

My sister Sue died yesterday morning. I see her dancing round the heavens with Jesus. No more pain. No more sorrow. Just.Pure.Joy.

Please pray for her family, her husband, Doug and beautiful kids, Aaron, Dan and Monica. Her sweet girl, Monica, found her.

I am profoundly sad.

Shabat

We spent yesterday at the house, throwing away about 80% of the "stuff" on the first and second floor. The basement should come in higher and the attic not so bad. The kitchen is off-limits becasue the timbers under the floor have gone missing.

We'll talk to contractors this week and get estimates. The insurance agent is talking about maxing out the policy and writing a check and several people have mentioned bulldozing the house, selling the acerage and getting a different house.

Oh my.

I am hanging out with Cub and Flower today who are 1/2 sick, cranky, sad, irritable and bored. I'm feeling lousy myself and melatonin only goes so far helping one sleep. This week-end, not at all.

Miss R spent last night in a Kentucky E.R. trying to track down a blood clot around her heart. Thankfully, even though the test came back postive the CAT scan showed nothing. I think Jehovah Rophi had something to do with a quick and total healing. Praise be HE!!

Lots of decisions ahead. We covet your prayers.

He Provides

I want to be successful.
I am feeble.

I want to be strong.
I ache and hurt.

I want to be wise.
I am addled.

I want to have enough to give generously.
I am living off of the generosity of others.

What I have is gone.
What I want is not to be.
I crawl, like a bleeding, destitute woman to I Am and reach out
to touch the hem of the robe of Him.

He stands. He is clean, strong, creator, Abba, comforter.
I reach, ashamed, weak, crying, afraid.

He knows. Sees. Lifts my head. Gives me Hope.
Joy Unspeakable.
More than I can imagine.
More of You, Lord.
I need more of You.



"We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be made visible in our bodies."--2 Corinthians 4: 8-10

House Afire!

Yesterday morning at 6:20 a.m. we called 9-1-1. Our house was on fire! There is a lot of smoke damage, windows ripped up, walls trashed but the house still stands, we are all alive, safe and unharmed. Our praises are too many to list right now but our church family has truly been family in the past many hours, we are overwhelmed with gratitude with the food, prayers, gifts, clothes etc that have been pouring in.

I'll post pictures and share more later. We'd appreciate your prayers as we re-group and make many decisions.

Family Camp

Action photos from the week-end at Family Camp. The crowd was small but friendly, the weather delightful, the teaching phenomenal. Viking Man taught on Biblical Holidays and the symbolism and metaphor just blow me away. He spent Friday evening teaching on the law and the branch and my thought is that the church is weak and ineffective, partly due to the fact that we deliberately stay 1-dimensional and boring rather than multi-dimensional, embracing our heritage and the Jewish roots of our faith. I'm eager to incorporate more Biblical Holidays and plan to start with some Shabbat meals this fall. Daddy and his little girl.

"Leaf on Lake."

KB's eye for beauty. The girl has a gift!

Pastor Don asked everyone to bring Jewish food for the week-end. We brought Challah bread and corn quiche.

The food was delish! Also on the table was corned beef, a wonderful dish made of carrots, yams and dates, dried fruit, bread and butter. Yum!

Cub caught in the act of feeding his Redwall addiction. When he wasn't on the lake he was busy reading, playing ping-pong, Foosball and roaming the grounds and reading!

Viking Man, happy to be in the great outdoors surrounded by sunshine and his kiddos. Hannah was his happy kayaking side-kick all week-end long. He did an awesome job teaching, as usual!

A boy and a boat. Feche-boys big week-end take-away..."I want a kayak!"

One of KB's great photos.

Queen KB, fresh off the lake!

Paradigm Shift

.

Fellowship, family, children, intellect, faith, laughter, food, friends,

joy in exploring, thinking, capturing thoughts and words.

Playing with expressions, hyperbole, idioms, maxims, proverbs.

words, meaning. Truth.

Old Testament thinking.

.

Modernist self. Me, mine, gadgets, gain.

Shifting from what is to what's excellent.

Re-thinking, re-tooling

.

Waiting, expectant. About to be birthed.

A surprise.

Faith guides. Sight, once trusted, becomes obsolete.

Divinity producing and soon the whole world will sing.

.

My piece- inspired, expected, longed-for.

No more than others. No better, no less. Hands and feet and head cherised.

All who join in welcomed, wanted, waiting, walking True North.

.

Self gone. Greater gained.

WR: Week 7

Feeling more on top of things this week.
We got through 2 weeks worth of Writing With Ease- I am LOVING this program from Susan Wise Bauer, no surprise. It is a gentle intro to writing- truly writing with ease, and incorporates copywork and narration. WWE II adds in dictation and by WWE IV the kids are learning how to diagram.
Flower's reading has taken off and she is reading the instructions on her math lessons, finding herself understanding words everywhere and thrilling at the joy of mastery.
Still enjoying MP's copywork books I, II and III. Cub is doing III again. His letter formation has improved greatly over last year. He actually has beautiful penmanship, which surprises me given some of his older sibs. MP's cursive books are fun and simple. The TDA first graders are loving the fact that they actually know some cursive!
Horizon's math for the notsolittles. Flower is cruising thru, doing 2-4 lessons a day. Cub has slowed down but one lesson is usually 2-3 pages and it's work. Feche-boy is steadily making his way through Saxon with the help of Viking Man.
We finished reading The Trojan War outloud and Feche-boy finished the study guide by MP. Another winner by my friends at Highlands Latin School. We begin the Odyssey on Monday.
TDA history is working through Intro to Classical Studies and so D'Aulaire's Greek Myths has been out for weeks. It's been a fav around here for years. Cub and Feche-boy are also going through the Famous Men of Greece study by MP and Cub is going to start on Augustus Ceaser's World by Genevieve Foster on Monday.
We hit memory work hard this week and tightened up some of the grammar and Latin poems we've learned, as well as Bible verses. Cub worked on geography, locating the world's major rivers.
Art was a 2-fer as our TDA instructress, beloved Zigrid was ill, so I led the kids in a drawing lesson from Bruce MacIntyre's Drawing Textbook. The younger kids really worked hard on mastering lesson 1. Zigrid did a make-up day on Thursday and had the kids use food coloring
to create primary and secondary colors, ice nilla wafers and viola! an edible object lesson. Yum!
Science focused on plants and Miss KB is having the kids make booklets using Dinah Zike's Plants book.
We also worked diligently on VP's Biblical and Historical timeline cards and are through the first card pack (32 in each) for both. We have a lot of work to do before they are committed to memory but we'll just take our time. The kids love hearing the info on the back and are eager to take time looking at the pictures and hear stories about the cards. The Veritas Press timeline cards are, imho, a must have. We've added dates and the kids are working hard. We finally put together the timeline notebooks and are ready to add in the historical figures the kids have colored. My thought is to have them add to their notebooks each year.
We listened to Classical Conversation's memory work cycle 1 audio CD at lunch every day. Even though the sentences are different the kids love to listen to it.
Drama was fun, of course, and the older TDA kids are doing a short skit for the family camp this week-end, telling about the importance of some of the Biblical Holidays.
TDA ordered the new Summit/Apologia worldview curriculum and I can't wait to incorporate that into our Wednesday Daniel Track. We're almost through with The Little Pilgrim's Progress. This week for etiquette we focused on phone manners and how to stand in line manners. The kids loved having me pretend to ring them and "test them" on how they would answer a phone.
I started working in earnest on the NUAMS certification. We sent in the paperwork this week to NAUMS as a transitioning school, so we have our work cut out for us to get that ready as well as be ready for TDA parent info nights starting in January.
Our crisis du semaine was the kitchen sink. What began as a slow faucet leak turned into a room sized Turkish Bath within a matter of hours. As a result, and after a day with the water to the house turned off, we now have kitchen cut-off valves (alleluia!), new kitchen faucet and pipes. The washing machine will have to wait but I did get a good movie in (The Reading Room) while hanging at NH, getting laundry done.
It was another full week but the parties not over. Viking Man is teaching at our churches Family Camp on Biblical Holidays. I have to get up in the morning and cook corn quiche and something else simple to take over for the Jewish meals we'll be enjoying together.
It feels like we hit crusing altitude after a bumpy launch and it's nice to have had a couple of steady weeks.

Snow Day!

The summer was wet and cool. Tomatoes finally started ripening in late August and September was beautiful. Last night the combines were going full speed bringing in the soybeans and today we are blanketed by snow and mist.

The hosta bed.
The roosters. They aren't particularly happy with their lot in life, but it beats swimming in a stew pot.

The garden from the boy's bedroom window.

Wrestling

As a family we've had unexpected and unrelenting problems since the launching of The Daniel Academy 6 weeks ago.
Car problems- 3 cars down in one week. The third car, our 17 year old Suburban pulls the trailer which hauls the wood, which affects our ability to heat our home. Our vans had to be repaired (neither repair was "that" much, but both in one week was a hefty bill in a month that was already short due to required travel in August) as we rely on them daily. The burb will just have to wait as it's too much right now, and we're praying that it doesn't get too cold too soon. The very next week one of the NEW spark plugs "blew"- defective from the factory, causing some wire damage and more time without reliable transportation. Thankfully, our mechanic had a loaner car but it was still pretty hectic as Viking Man works an hour west twice a week and we go east 3 days a week. Another week a tire was mysteriously flatter than a pancake. The tire repair dude at Stuff Mart checked it out and reported that there was, "no hole, no leak." He refilled it and said to come back it there were any more problems with our month old tires.
Last week the washing machine began making little greasy pock marks on all of our clothes. We didn't fully discover this until an entire load of Viking Man's dress clothes had been pock-marked. Thankfully, the place where Viking Man offers Biblical Counseling Services also has a washer and dryer so I spent several hours there this week-end doing a week's laundry for a household of six. A short term fix for now.
As if that wasn't enough, this week I've had strange and mysterious physical ailments that range from an old and irritating knee injury causing pain and distraction, to more serious and painful problems that I won't bore you with the ugly details of .
Why are we not surprised?

"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." Ephesians 6:12

Sure, all of these irritating and annoying problems could just be the result of having way old cars, over-taxing our washing machine with the demands of a large family, overtaxing my over-40 year old body. All true. However, I truly believe that education is the transmission of culture and I also believe that The Daniel Academy is a proactive Family Partnership that allows parents to guide and direct their children in the way that they should go. It's a new paradigm and a new/old way of thinking about child-rearing. It allows homeschoolers the fellowship and expertise they are lacking and public schoolers the excellence and personal attention that they are lacking. It fills some gaps. It threatens the expected. And when we do that in the name of Jesus Christ, I believe that the enemy takes notice.
I'd appreciate it if you could pray for me and my family as we walk out the call. I ask this because, "Two are better than one, they have a good return for their labor." Ecclisiastes 4:9 and we stand strong when we stand together. Right now we could use some good folks standing with us.

WR: A full and Busy Week

This week felt like we were in a normal groove- moving through things, making progress, seeing some smiles again (finally!). The move to a 3-day program has been rough on the notsolittles. We are up by 6 and going all day long. They aren't used to so many people, the demands of a posted schedule, having other adults and kids making demands on their time, energy and emotional resources. But, finally, I think that they are re-grouping and beginning to enjoy some aspects of the week. Flower has been inspired by Art class and has spent every free minute creating pictures and texture and cutting and pasting.

On Monday we do school at home. Cub and Flower do copywork (MP), cursive (MP), math (Horizons and Saxon), read-alouds (The Trojan War by Olivia Coolidge- an excellent read!) and literature (MP study guides). Cub is working through the Hobbit and Feche-Boy is almost finished with the The Trojan War, then on to the Odyssey and the Iliad. The boys are also taking Apologetics, and FB is deep into Algebra. We are adding in Latin and Bio next week. Slow and steady and we'll probably be well into summer before he finishes the coursework but that is one of the bonuses of Parent Directed Education.

On Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday we go to TDA. We have morning worship for 1/2 hour, then 45 minutes of Memory Work. Then 3 separate groups for English, which consists of Phonics, handwriting, narration, and dictation. Our spine is Writing With Ease along with Explode the Code, AlphaPhonics and MP's lit guides. I am sitting with the first graders individually to go over their ETC lessons and AlphaPhonics (everyone is at a different place). The kids are really getting it and there is some healthy competition developing with the kids who are behind in AlphaPhonics working hard to catch up to where other kids are at in the book (I'm using sticky notes to mark the pages so they see where the other kids are at. Not my origianl intention but it has one student especially motivated!).

Then Math, gym, Meditative Prayer, lunch. In the afternoons we do Latin, Science, Bible, History, intercessory prayer, VP cards. We have 14 kids doing VP cards at the same time and I don't know why it is such a thrill to me to hear them recite the memory work or VP cards but it jazzes me to hear them saying the sentences in unison, watching their faces, eager and thrilled that they are getting it. Woohoo. They are making cool connections. For instance this week the history sentence was: "The four things that follow war are Pain, Panic, Fear and Oblivion" and Z said, "Hey, Sodom and Gomorrah (one of the VP cards) - that's oblivion!"

Tuesdays and Thursdays are full and busy days. Yesterday all of the kids won a prize from the point system we've put in place for behavior and that is a GREAT indication of how well everyone worked on relationships and being diligent in their work. They spent a 1/2 hour playing together, sharing and trading prizes and generally having a great time. Everyone went home feeling good about the week and what we'd accomplished.

Today is a home study day and in our house that means more math, VP cards, copywork, dictation and literature. It also means some vacuuming, catching up on laundry cause the washing machine died this week and going grocery shopping.

We (me as Administrator and Viking Man as Director of Discipleship) are meeting with each set of parents to talk about educational and behavioral goals, the focus and purpose of the program, etc. and it's been just as much fun to get to know the parents better as it has been the kids.

And lastly, we finalized the TDA logo and colors. Another week before it's totally finalized and we can start using it!

WW: Esprit Similaire

Miss. R and her friend, newly back from three years in China- both of them language geeks, passionate about the Lord and having fun being young.

Ruach Eloyim Chayim

Formless and void.

Ha- Ruach came and blew galaxy upon galaxy into being.

Embedded deeply

into the fabric of the universe.

Vast expanse of depth and dark.

He placed times and seasons, purposes and people. Precious and hoped for

Loved by Him.

He Created.

Longing for the unfolding of the mysteries,

deep and secret things hidden

but only for a time.

Joy in knowing what's to come.

His beauty revealed.

Diamonds exposed.

The universe trembling and singing,

exuberant with expectations.

.

Expressions of his over-flowing love-

sons of Adam and daughter of Eve

Created to worship.

Fellowship in the garden.

More than knowing.

Fabric of being crying out in want and joy

for Him.

Abba.

Ruach Elohim Chayim.

Thwarted. Times. Seasons. People. Places.

Aborted. Masses of flesh. Beauty torn limb from limb

Sacrilege and sacrifice for nought.

Sin sickness rampant

Sons and Daughters turn away.

Father rejected. King shamed.

Ruach Hakodesh ka'sher dibber denied.

Righteous anger burns

Fire consuming sacrifices offered freely to idols.
Delusion running rampant.

Modern man, divorced from Living God of Old and Times to Come.

Post-modern words without meaning, formless and void.

returning to the beginning with No Shame.

No God. No King. No Ruach Olam.

Mysteries deeply buried exposed and

Ruach Ha Emet comes again.

Fire burning brightly.

Pure. Righteous. Dross consumed.

The vision, speaking

Truth.

Appointed time and times,

Ruach he-Chazon at the ready.

Ha-Ruach- The Spirit
Ruach Eloyim Chayim- Spirit of the Living God.
Ruach Hakodesh ka'sher dibber - Spirit of Promise.
Ruach Olam- Eternal Spirit
Ruach Ha Emet- Spirit of Truth
Ruach he-Chazon - Spirit of Revelation

Jeremiad & Nehemiad

If you aren't yet familiar with the newly coined theological terms Jeremiad & Nehemiad, you need to hop on over to George Grant's blog and learn about them. More great church commentary by one of the great minds of our time: http://grantian.blogspot.com/2009/10/resounding-nehemiads.html

Elastagirl and Tent Poles

We've prayed that God would expand our horizons and enlarge our tent and currently He seems to be doing so in many ways. As a result, we are being stretched. We've been stretched before so it's not a new experience, it's just always one that makes us realize how puny we were when we started. And as our tent poles are being moved out to accommodate a greater territory, the resources that we have are being called on to bear an even greater weight, to bear up under even more pressure and to adapt to whatever current need is being addressed. Yep, feeling a little thin (and wishing that were more literal than figurative).

I relate, probably too well, to The Incredibles. It just seems that we started out knowing that we could leap tall buildings, right wrongs, and talk rationally to psychotic impostor super-heros. We've hit middle age front and center and are bogged down by things like cars whose doors don't shut (maybe because we slammed them too hard ourselves), jobs that can be tedious (like hauling wood), sometimes unfulfilling (like washing the umptenth load of dishes) and don't always pay the bills, kids who don't follow the mold, and the knowing that we were meant for something with a little more pizazz. If I were only, really, truly, ElastaGirl and Viking Man were Mr. Incredible, we could get a little more done, with a lot less of what it seems like it currently takes.

But we're not Super Heros (darn that) and so, for us, it all boils down to faith. Cause I know that we are walking out some things that have been long-time callings and passions and burdens so that's not really what's at issue. It's just, dang it, that stretching thing again- called on to be a lot when it seems like we have so little.

Yesterday, we were all so hungry, it had been a long morning and it was well into the afternoon. The first bite was awesome and we seriously offered up a prayer of Thanksgiving. I started wondering about food and why God made us to require it. And I wonder if it's because He just wants us to think about what He's provided a couple of times a day. Maybe, because of the comfort in which most of us live, we've forgotten that food isn't a given and that it is truly cause for thanks. And really, when you think about it, God just added in the fun part of it, cause He did. Because He has a great sense of humor and fun, so He gave us chocolate and fruit and gum. Not cause we need it, but just to see us happy.

And I think that's where the stretching thing comes in, That when we're really following God we should feel thin, we should feel a desire for more, we should really long and hunger and seek and find Him. That we start the day with a knowledge that we don't have what it takes so we're looking to Him to fill in the gaps, which are many and deep and wide. And then wait for the surprise, the fun, the "just because." That as He provides all that we need it is abundant and good and we are filled with more than we can ask or imagine. That our hands, which seemed empty, become full, and out of His abundance we can walk out the call.

Holy, Holy is He.

We are caught
between visions and reality.
A Golden City. We saw it once
at sunrise
cresting a ridge in New Mexico
waning star light shimmering on
windswept high prairie
suddenly morphed in to the lushness of the Rio Grande Valley.
A jewel in it's midst- Albuquerque - bathed in the sudden surprise of dawn in the desert
Pale Gold
the rich velvet curtain of night pulled back
sun struck splendor took one's breathe away.
Visions of what's to come.

Visions.
Old and Ancient promises
revealing secrets of deep magic
and magic deeper still
a King and His court
Gathered singing praises. A single note sung by millions to One. Pure. Distinct.
Holy.

Joy in the singing. Breathe stolen by beauty.
His.
Desire for all else stolen
by Him.

Holy.
Holy.
Holy.

We are chosen to gather round.
O, Lord
We are overwhelmed. Heads bowed in awe at the honor.
Joy in the singing.
Holy.

Visions. Bringing us back. Taking us there.
Round the throne of Him who was and is and is to come...

blah blah blogging

While I've had lots to blog about I've had little time to do so. Here's a taste of what we've been doing lately. Enjoying the gorgeous fall weather and our blooming fleurs.

Enjoying my girlie, who's enjoying her kitties.

Enjoying the site of the woodpile gaining girth.

Enjoying the fruits, and vegetables, of our summer labor.

Enjoying all of the breads and cookies KB's been baking. Bosch's are the (kitchen) bomb!

Enjoying the study guides we're using from Memoria Press. Feche-boy during an especially inspired moment.

Enjoying the camaraderie that is developing at TDA. In this action photo, History guru Ms. Hickey is contemplating who should get the talking penguin.

One more for the road- or rather from the road. What we view from the car on our frequent rides to town.

For more quick takes, check out Conversion Diary!

WW: Orange & Yellow

These zinneas and daiseys came from our yard. They were absolutely glorious this year. KB took the awesome cool pic. Flowers, photos and cool kids- life is good.

Claiming Truth

small. feeble. crumpled. frail.
I am crushed by 2 manys.

2 many doubts, fears, demands, what ifs.

Too many worries

lack

need

hopes deferred

dreams gone rancid.

My trust is week. feeble, like myself.

I turn from the obvious.

Seek.

Find.

Knock at the door.

Wind words blow and the stench of fetid 2 manys

festered wounds

selfish weakness

my own sin

are blown away.

To the east and to the west.

I stand because He spoke.

Life. Truth.

A pebble for a gift

and on it is written

A new name.

No longer

failure

deceiver

sinner

But now

beloved child

hope restored

faithful

wise

I stand.

Religion for a crutch? I laugh at the accuser.

Christ for My I Am.

I am won. By Him.

I am one. With Him.

His glory - covers me.

His light -restores me.
His path- guides me.

His breath - cleanses me.

I AM.

The One.True. Living. God.

I claim Him for my own.

Little idols made of sticks and stones.

security

comfort

beauty

wealth

success
power.
Betrayers.

I bury them with Jacob under the Terebinth tree

and choose I Am.

Trusting. Hoping.

Claiming my new name.

Claiming Him.

WR: Learning Curves & Cat Herding

We had another very full week, between homeschooling on Monday and Friday, working in the garden, hauling and stacking wood last week-end and going to, running and teaching at The Daniel Academy (TDA).

Tuesday's and Thursday's at TDA are dedicated to academics- Math, History (ancients this year), science (plants), Latin, Christian Studies, English (phonics, copywork, dictation, literature), memory work, Apologetics.

Wednesdays are our Fine Arts & Daniel Track. Fine Arts take the majority of each Wednesday morning and contain Art, Drama and Music instruction. We have some awesome teachers in these areas and it's by far the favorite time of the week for most of the kids. We are going to add in Timeline's to Wednesday's schedule using Amy Pack's CD of historical figures.

Wednesday afternoons we spend time reading outloud (currently reading Little Pilgrim''s Progress) which the kids enjoy. While we read, they get big sheets of paper and can create whatever they dream up. This week we concluded read-aloud time with several paper chains, and paper crafted creations. The kids art boxes contain glue sticks and scissors and they are eager to use them!

After the read-alouds we play math and phonics games or work on manner's, review Veritas Press' time lines, which we are committing to memory; we are doing the Ancients pack- Old Testament and Ancient Egypt- along with the entire set (160 cards) of the Biblical timeline- 4 from each every week. We'll complete the Ancients Pack 4 times this year. The kid are memorizing titles on the cards as well as dates or Biblical reference.

Then gym time, intercession and closing.

It's been a learning curve for everyone the past month. We have families that have public schooled and utilized day care for years, families who have, in many ways, unschooled classical educators, etc. Now we are all coming under the same roof to create something, that is hopefully, better than what we could come up with on our own. The dedication of the parent's has been a huge blessing. The kids are great and it's been fun to get to know them, their quirks, strengths and struggles. We are going to implement a behavior chart beginning next week so that we can moniter behavior and group interactions, and to give us some objective measures of improvement. The kids all want to talk at once, or offer their suggestions or tell each other, and the teacher's what to do, put their feet on the table and interrupt some more- imagine that!!? Some days it does feel a little like herding cats, but there is more order each day.

Abounding Contentment

Twice in the past month friends of ours have been hospitalized for mental illness. Twice in the past couple of years we've been at the bedside of friends dying of cancer. Just recently friends, and less recently family, have buried babies. Life, and what we assume it will hold for us, is more tenuous than I think most of us realize.

I have been struck, more and more, with thanksgiving for what we have today. Health, mental and physical. Homes. Heat. Food. Clothing. Kids that are well. Spouses that are committed to marriage and love.

I find it easy to feel discontent. I am naturally a melancholy person with a gift of criticism. I can usually, and in living color, see what could be done, improvements to be made, areas to ramp up, improve upon and embellish. And frankly, we live a somewhat, if by our own choosing, complicated life- in an older house, on an acreage, homesteading to an extent, parents of 5, owner of animals. There is always something(s) not working, needing fixed, unsolvable. Always areas of discontent that we deal with daily.

But I am growing more and more content. More and more grateful. More and more, admittedly, sappy. More and more in love with my middle aged, slightly balding, bossy, intelligent, gentle, wise and hard headed husband. More and more thankful for my 5 intelligent, troublesome, always hungry, demanding, beautiful, amazing children. More and more grateful for a country that allows us freedom and choices and clean water and the privilege to disagree and bear arms and vote and worship. More and more at peace with the friends and family God has gifted me with; younger, older, beautiful and normal, brilliant and average, close by and far away.
Life is never what we expect. But for now, for this minute, it's good enough. And I thank God for that.

"Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content. I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:11 -13.

I pray that in whatever circumstance you find yourself in , that Christ finds you there, and all joy, all satisfaction, are yours.

Biet Midrash - Genesis 24

This week in Bible Study we read and thought deeply about Genesis 24- the rape of Dinah. It's not a chapter that you go over much, teach the kids in Sunday School or most likely dwell on. But it was one of those chapters that brought me up short, made me catch my breath, and has given me pause. Let me "splain (you know the accent- the Spaniard on Princess Bride).

The prince of the heathens, Shecham, a Canaanite, rapes Jacobs daughter by his tolerated wife, Leah (as opposed to his loved wife Rachel). The prince and his dad go to Jacob, confess, apologize and ask for Dinah's hand in marriage (this is a good deal for a raped women back in those times because at this point she's soiled goods and no self-respecting man will want her) say they'll pay whatever price is set as the dowry. Jacob agrees to the marriage with the caveat that Shecham and the other men in the city agree to be circumcised. They all go along with it. That's some smooth talking. Shecham and his father claim that they'll have some new folks to trade and intermarry with if they can entice Jacob and his clan to stay so the other men of the city agree to the plan; everybody (supposedly) is happy. Shecham gets his girl, Dinah gets married to a man, who, while he initially acted dishonorably, is now smitten with her and wants to make it right, Jacob and the clan get to settle and the city gets some revitalization.

Jacob, having just wrestled with an angel of the Lord, having just claimed Yahweh as his own, has the opportunity here to convert this city of heathens. Perhaps that's even his plan. But before the plan goes very far, Jacob's older sons take matters into their own hands. These are his sons by Leah and his concubines and they are righteously angry about the rape of their sister. In their anger, they murder Shecham and the other men of the city as they are recovering from circumcision, plunder the city, take captive the women and children, enslaving them all for the sake of honor. Perhaps they are sensitive to what honor means or doesn't mean because of how their father has treated their mother, and even them- sons of a marriage that was based on deceit and fraud, sons of concubines.

Opportunity lost. Jacob must now flee the land, as his sons behavior has created a situation that endangers them all. They flee the area.

We were left wondering how many times we've destroyed something in our righteous indignation, how often we've trampled a new work because of past hurts or grievances or jealousies. How often we've wounded and destroyed when we were called to create and birth. I was overwhelmed with the implications of this chapter. God could have used Jacob and his family to convert the city. It could have been the start of Jacob's life as a priest and one who builds up and restores instead of gets what's his. Jacob's past as deceiver, his history of not loving Leah and what God did and birthed through her, his own lusts, come to haunt him, his sons, 2 of whom don't become leaders of tribes due to this event, and his daughter, robbed of a husband and of restored honor.

I'm more like Jacob than I want to be. We all probably are. Our prayer at the end of the study was that we would be willing to give up our rights to be right, to be justified, to determine the end result and let God be God. No easy task.

The Daniel Academy

Our lives have changed this year in a significant way. For the first time in 19 years we've joined forces with some other like-minded families and have launched a Family Partnership Private School. I have been referring to The Daniel Academy as a University Model School, but I like the Family Partnership (FPPS) label better; it's more descriptive and gives a better sense of what we are about. It's been good. Intense, fun, exhausting, challenging and a blessing. We hit a good groove this week with the schedule, we have some amazingly gifted teachers, parents that are invested, kids eager to learn - a winning combo.

The core of the program is the Daniel Track, components of which are sprinkled throughout each day of the program, drive 1/2 of Wednesday's schedule and direct parents as they lead their families throughout the week at home. Three days a week we join together for worship and intercession as well as for 1/2 hour of meditative prayer. I have been awed by the talent of our Pastor's wife, Kristen Hickey, Kristen Hickey – prayer this week. She is a gifted teacher. Seriously. Gifted. I've met a few of those in my life, my father in law, Viking Man, Sr. Damien in high school; they are a rare and precious breed. She's in there. Patient and creative and fun and funny. She is leading the kids during the meditative prayer, as well as teaching history (we are doing Ancients this year). She is Object Lesson Queen Bee.

1/2 Days on Wednesdays is the "Daniel Track." During that time we are reading a devotional; first up is The Little Pilgrim's Progress. It's a younger kids version of Pilgrim's Progress and actually very engaging. Feche-Boy and I read out-loud for an hour this week and kids didn't want us to stop! They were busy coloring a 7 Days of Creation booklet and totally engaged in the story and totally immersed in color marker heaven. Reading aloud is great learning on so many different levels and it was probably the most focused hour we had from everybody all week long. We are also doing, what I thought would be, a short lesson on manners. We started with Introductions. Too funny, but the kids thought this was too much fun. We spent way more time on this than I thought we would, but they were fascinated by practicing and play-acting the formal, and correct way, of getting introduced. And, of course, we are doing an at least bi-weekly Bible Study using Memoria Press' Christian Studies, book 1 -the Pentateuch. As I've mentioned before, it's excellent.

During the week, the families commit to praying together 2-4 hours per week (depending on how old their kids are).

We are starting a Parenting Class in 2 weeks as an important component of TDA titled, "Creating a Beautiful Family Culture" because education is about so much more than just academics; it's about culture and religion and relationships and ties and themes and seasons, and we will go over deliberate parenting, stewarding our children's spiritual lives, the Cycle of Discipline. the importance of family prayers and parental blessings and so much more. Dr. Viking Man is going to take the first several classes. This is the stuff that he breathes. It will rock.

Already some of the kids prayers have blown me away and it is so sweet to see them in the morning, being led by our talented worship leaders Megan and Ellie, with hands raised as they sing "Oh Lord we Lift Up Our Hands." There is nothing sweeter than to see children of all ages, really engaged in something bigger than themselves, innocent and trusting, and eager.

The vision is that this is a long-lasting, life changing, hot house of training for the next generation. That they emerge ready for the Call, equipped, encouraged and eager to Serve the One True Living God.

We've launched. Now the task will be to stay pointed True North.

On Preaching...

Gospel preaching always requires great courage, both to execute and to tolerate, for it must ever needs be a running toward a lion’s roar. ~Chalmers

Past & Present

"Uncertain about the future? Look to the past.

It is a ready and reliable guide."

~Winston Churchill.

Wise Words

From Miss R's blog: Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio. "To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.It is the most-requested column I've ever written."

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."