How to Fail as a Homeschooler

It's that time of year when parents are re-evaluating schooling options for their kids. I hear over and over again, "I want to homeschool (or my kids want to homeschool) but I'm so worried I'll fail." Having homeschooled for 25 years, we've seen it all. Wild homeschooling success and wild, abject homeschooling failure. Here is my not so subtle list about how to fail as a homeschooler. Check it out. Maybe it will help you evaluate whether or not you have what it takes to succeed as a homeschooler.

1- Stop learning I mean you, the Homeschooling Teacher. The first law of the teacher is to know the material, which takes time and energy.If you want to fail as a homeschooler, model NOT learning. Model NOT reading, Model intellectual apathy, fed on a diet of social media, low standards and cultivated disinterest in things that matter beyond ones self. Embrace the heresy of antinomianism, but apply it to homeschooling God loves you, no matter what, so you can do whatever you want.

2- Be Prideful You are all that. And you are happy to let everyone know it. You are willing to be sought after, but rarely, if ever, serve. You keep the good info, classes, curriculum to yourself and let everyone else know that you have what they don't. Your kids are all that, too, and you cultivate a subtle, but effective, narcissism that intentionally keeps you aloof and ohsospecial

3- Never Ask Questions. Cultivate the attitude of disinterest; what you don't know is boring. Asking questions requires vulnerability and humility. Don't show either.

3-Be Stingy & Hoard (in keeping with #2). Opportunities, people, competitions, curriculum, knowledge; you need to keep whatever good thing you have to yourself. Don't share, promote, develop or go beyond your circle. Keep in mind the Toddler Rules, What's Yours is Yours.

4- Be Fearful Homeschool because the world is scary and public schools are of the debil. Be reactive. Be closeted and fearful. Homeschool because there is nothing better. Hunker down for the coming of apocalypse zombies.

5- Be Lazy Have the attitude, based on #4 above, that no matter what you do or don't do as a homeschooler, it is better than what the public schools do or don't do, so if you really don't "do" school or even train your kids, that's o.k., because at least it's better than what the public schools are doing, anyway, right? Good. Plus educational antinomianism (see #1 above).

6- Be Tolerant Let your kids run wild, in the name of homeschooling freedom. Allow them to break rules, to be rebellious, to set a low standard for others at classes, co-ops, field trips, to subtly jeer and undermine. This gives the impression that all homeschoolers have low standards and ensures that no homeschoolers will be allowed that field trip in the future, that any homework assigned will be mocked, that work itself is not really that important, that co-ops should cater to the lowest common denominator, that homework is stoopid and they are all that.

7-Be Irresponsible  Make excuses; make them often and frequently, for yourself and your kids, regarding academic standards, character issues, things left undone and overdone. Don't take responsibility to educate your kids. Use the term unschooling often and bank on the fact that other homeschoolers continue to consider it a pedagogy but that they are not enlightened or read enough to actual understand the term (which is most often the case).

8- Be Idolatrous. Idolize your child, and their individuality to the point of extreme. Idolize creativity while sacrificing discipline. Buy into the cheap imitation of chaos theory that free expression without tools, time or discipline will produce creative talent beyond our wildest dreams. In keeping with this, teach to your kids strengths (if you teach at all) and let their weaknesses go unchecked).

I'm sure that there are other ways to fail as a homeschooler, but these are the ones I've personally most often encountered over the years. And, True Confessions, My name is Lisa, and I'm a Homeschooling Failure myself, having particiapted in all of these at one time or another. Admission, so I'm told by those in the know, is the first step towards recovery. Good thing, that. Because  tomorrow, in honor of those in recovery as Homeschooling Failures, I'll post How to Succeed as a Homeschooler.

Until then.

@Golden Grasses 2008-2013. All photographs, artwork and text are the property of the owner unless otherwise stated. Don't miss a thing! Subscribe to Golden Grasses and get our articles right to your inbox!

Post Thanksgiving Reality

*1*

This is what science often looks like at our house. Dr. Dh sharing his latest science find- usually entailing some kind of archaeological or astronomical discovery, which he then shares with whatever  kid he can snag. The Orion landing was science du jour.

 *2*

History consisted of some really fun videos, courtesy of @Mr. Betts Class. Some of these coordinate very nicely with Classical Conversations History sentences. Others don't. All are creative, entertaining and catchy.

*3*

Cub does not like shopping. I repeat, Cub does not like shopping. This is what shopping reduces him to; My very own Elf off the shelf. Isn't he adorable?!

 

*4*

On Tuesday, I Tutored both Foundations and Essentials. I was very grateful that it was a review weeks for Essentials. We continue to learn a ton every week. I'm amazed at how much we are learning through the simple act of copying charts and repetition. Simple, but very effective.

*5*

We had a blast decorating the house last week-end, both inside and out. Sneak peek above...stay tuned for a holiday house tour!

*6*

We got a killer deal on the entire Planet of the Apes series. It is so bad. Almost compelling in how awful it is. We started and stopped a couple; and sort of finished it. And struggled to understand why they kept changing the story line, and endings. It's over now. Dr. Dh declared it "the worst movie(s) ever." I told him that's only because he hasn't seen Noah. He has threatened to rent it this week-end because he is curious, and I think, he really doesn't believe me when I tell him  is awful. At least Planet of the Apes had the costumes and Roddy McDowell going for it, right?

*7*

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving, met KB's fiance in person for the first time, took walks and family photos, went to see the Lights Festival at the Falls, ate lots of pie, played Settlers and enjoyed   spending the holiday with Dr. Dh's brother and family, who are just plain totally fun to be around.

The men-folk at the Falls. Do they look related, or what?!

One more for cute-ness sake.

@Golden Grasses 2008-2013. All photographs, artwork and text are the property of the owner unless otherwise stated. Don't miss a thing! Subscribe to Golden Grasses and get our articles right to your inbox!

The Working Woman's Guide to Homeschooling- Flow, Grow and Tools

 

I've written before about how I like to over plan for school- knowingly planning too much stuff at the outset and then when school hits going with the flow. This requires that I know what I'm doing- that I have my budget decided upon, I know where to acquire things from, have my curriculum, books and supplies gathered, my support in place (co-ops, class days, outsourcing) my books binned and carted, my CD's in their basket- in other words, stuff ready to roll.

 

At this point, homeschooling is not difficult work for me. It's been my vocation for a couple of decades, I've written a Master's thesis about it, spoken about it, blogged about it, started class-days, co-ops and Mom's groups- it's what I've done. I love education, I love kids, I love teaching. The only thing missing is money and more time.

 

Enter the working world. I'm currently working in a job that uses my degrees, is challenging, boasts a terrific corporate culture and compensates well. But I haven't been in the working world for awhile. Yes, I'm fairly familiar with computers but I'm the farthest thing from a computer nerd and so I've been on a bit of a learning curve of late. My job isn't IN computers but my job is possible because of computers.
 

Maybe you are on that same learning curve. Maybe you've been a working Mom and just brought your kids home to school. Or like me, you've homeschooled long enough to have your favorite curriculum catalogs and your routine is so established it s a no-brainer,  but you are now returning to work. Either way, you are growing. Growing is good. But like my 14 year old exhibits daily, it requires extra calories that are nutritious, more sleep than normal and plenty of fresh air and time to mull. Even with all of that, growing pains  and occasional break-downs are still just part of the routine. Growth is challenging. Growth also messes up our established routines and habits. We have undergone a massive transition this year. Our established routines are dis-established. Our habits are out of whack. We are in transition as we re-evaluate what is working and not working. We haven't don't much "flow" this year and we have realized that some of the tools that have been wonderful in the past just don't fit anymore.
 

Here's my advice. Be nice to yourself. Be gentle as you learn the ropes of either your job or of how to homeschool. It's O.K. not to know everything, to make mistakes, to ask questions. My supervisor gave me a great gift by telling that she expected me to be asking questions for at least a year. Pshew. What a relief. And as much as I hate to do it- having gained some mastery in an area or two over the years, the fact of the matter is that at certain things I'm a newbie. And I'm discovering whole new areas in which I'm challenged and I have to ask questions, make mistakes and admit I've messed up. So not my favorite thing to do. But necessary if I'm going to learn the job and have the ability to do it well.

 

To keep growing we have to find the experts in the areas we want to grow. Not everyone who claims to be an expert is. Not everyone speaking publicly or publishing books is either. Have discernment and choose people in the areas you need to grow in - while I've read many, many books on education, there are some I just wouldn't recommend to anyone. 

 

Like the chart at the top states, eliminate distractions and gather your tools. For me, this meant purchasing a new computer. For you it might mean buying a 3-hole punch or a printer, or a camera, or going to a conference, or making time to listen to MP3's of great homeschooling leaders. One of the greatest lessons I learned during our house rebuild was this: Set up and tear down often take as long as the actual task. The correct tools can make the difference between success and not happening.

I know not everyone is in the position to buy a new computer. Frankly, we looked at it as an investment. I couldn't do the job without it and it will make the time I'm at work infinitely more efficient.

Eliminating distractions has been more difficult. While I love our first floor open floor plan, working out of it is not very time efficient. Mainly because there are a zillion distractions. Growing often means learning how to manage distractions.

 

For investment's sake I treat homeschooling pedagogy and curriculum from an eliminate the distractions pove- the classical method simplifies most everything imho. We invest in non-consumables, simple and effective curriculum that does what it says it's going to to do, without costing a fortune. Distractions in the homeshcool world include but are not limited to the siren song of every.new.thing. Look, you don't have to try out stuff just because someone else says it's good or it works for their kid. My 14 year old does not and will not enjoy activity books or lap books, period. Investing in curriculum like that for him is a distraction and causes us both to suffer.

 

Gather your (management) tools. Evernote and Google Doc seem to be the tools of choice for a whole lot of Working Homeshcoolers. There's apps and daytimers and wall calendars. The important thing is to get something that works for you and use it. I like the thought of on-line apps but at heart I'm a paper and pencil gal and still need a calendar to write in. On Day #1 I talked about "Knowing Yourself." Know which tools will work for you.  Just like the best curriculum is that which you take down off the shelf and use, so too the best planning tools are the ones that you utilize. Management tools for our homeschool are simple- a list for each kid outlining their curriculum, coded by text, workbook, CD, MP3, PDF, on-line, etc. Train them to use the list. Ka-bam.

Call to Action
Inventory 3 areas you need to grow in and set SMART goals.
Identify 3 distractions to work and homeschool and set SMART goals to eliminate them.
Research 3 tools that would make your work and homeshcool more effective. Determine how to aquire them.

Be sure to stop by my fellow Crewbies for some more great reading this week.
Kathy @ Kathys Cluttered Mind ~ Fieldtripping Fun
Leah @ As We Walk Along the Road ~ Great Kids Reads
Shalynne @ Wonderfully Chaotic ~ Birth and Babies
Lisa Marie @ The Canadian Homeschooler ~ Canadian Teachers Pay Teachers Stores
Kemi @ Homemaking Organized ~ Homekeeping for Girls and Boys
Heather @ Only Passionate Curiosity ~ Planning Your Homeschool Year
Nikki @ Angels of Heart ~ Easter: The Cross for Preschoolers
Jenn @ Treasuring Life's Blessings ~ Family Friendly Finger Food
Lisa @ Golden Grasses ~ The Working Woman's Guide to Homeschooling

Also be sure to head over to Schoolhouse Review Crew Blog to see what all 60 of my fellow crew members are blogging about this week for their 5 day blog hop!

 

@Golden Grasses 2008-2013. All photographs, artwork and text are the property of the owner unless otherwise stated. Don't miss a thing! Subscribe to Golden Grasses and get our articles right to your inbox!

The Working Woman's Guide to Homeschooling Day- #2 Your Compelling Reason

Today's post in the series
The Working Woman's Guide to Homeschooling
has to do with defining your compelling reason.

Getting Things Done When There is Too Much To Do and Only ONE of YOU.

 

The biggest challenge working women have are in the areas of Time and Energy. There isn't enough of either one. If you homeschool AND work, you probably have less time than ever. Of course the best way to handle time challenges is to know why you are doing what you are doing and then make a plan and work your plan. In chatting with other homeschooling Moms who also work, by far the #1 challenge, is, as a friend says, "Managing Me."

And that's really the crux of making the whole thing work- the whole thing being staying healthy and save, keeping your job and educating your children. YOU are a resource, with limited time, energy and creativity and if you don't manage yourself, something will lose out. But let me take a load off from the get-go: something will lose out anyway, you won't get everything done, and you'll just have to let some things go.

Here's the real deal.  Educating your children is a job. You can outsource it, do it yourself or a combination thereof, but anyone who says it's free and easy is trying to justify or sell you something. How and where you educate your kids is one of the biggest parenting decisions you will make.

If you work you obviously have a job. Last time I looked 1 job + 1 job = 2 jobs. So, there you go. You are busy; very busy because you have not one, but two jobs. Congralations, you now qualify for Wonder Woman.

I am assuming that if you are undertaking the arduous task of managing 2 Jobs, you have a

Compelling Reason.

Are you clear about what it is? 

Write the vision and make it plain.

Personally, if  I don't write important things down and see it I'll forget all about them. . Then when the going gets tough (which it will, guaranteed) you can read your compelling reason and rest assured in your good choices. Or wonder at them, pray, wrestle and make different ones. Either way, it's a starting place and you need one, if you are going to successfully navigate the choppy waters of too much to do and not enough time to do it in. 

 

Your compelling reason is going to help you get and stay focused.

Compelling reasons can include but are not limited to social, emotional, spiritual, academic, physical, and familial concerns, among others. Among the working homeshcooling moms that I talked to in preparation for this series some of the compelling reasons were; their child was being bullied to the point of physical harm, their child was so depressed in school they had a suicide plan, their child has special academic needs better met at home, their child had health issues, they wanted better academics for their kids than the school provided, their child was very involved in a sport or artistic endeavor that took hours of training each day, their child was gifted or special needs or 2E, the family traveled for work, the family wanted more time together, Common Core implementation, etc. In other words, your compelling reason is going to be as unique and individual as you and your family is. Nevertheless, know what it is.

Our compelling reason is this:

Education is the transmission of culture.

I don't see the public (or often private, with a few exceptions) school system transmitting of culture of Christ, Truth and beauty. That's a deal breaker for us so we homeschool.

Once you have a compelling reason, you are going to want to focus the time and energy that you do have. If I get up earlier than everyone else and knock out 2-3 hours of work before breakfast, I can get about as much done as if I try to work during the entire morning while everyone is getting breakfast, milling about and grabbing my attention for math and to chat about whatever is on the news or in their reading. Multi- tasking is not effective and for me, simply means I waste more time and lose track of my notes. Not good in a detailed job that has seasons of extreme busyness.

How to stay focused at work, in order to truly maximize your time? As one of the gals mentioned when questioned:
"I keep schedule after schedule after schedule. And I work in routines. We always follow the same routines for school and for activities and for bedtime. And I follow the same routines for my working."

Leah Courtney
As We Walk Along the Road.

Find a planning format and routine that works for you and use it. Work and school habits also make life function much more smoothly.

In order to stay focused at work, especially as one of those people who has the privilege and distraction of working at home, my kids and I have had to become more flexible in how and when we do school. I written for years about the importance of quality "helpers" in your homeschool- CD's, DVD's, MP3's, on-line classes, computer classes, co-ops and class-days. On crazy busy days, my kids might listen to more school than they've read about. Or you might find us doing Spelling at 5:30 instead of in the morning, like we used to.

Here's how school is focused: A Master List for each kid with thier school work listed.
A Basket of CD's, DVD's; a Library Cart of school books and worktexts, a bin of memory cards, a flash-drive with MP3's and PDF downloads, a computer with log-ins and passwords in the memory.
If I'm working, the kids know that they can go to the list and pick something else. If I can't help them, they move on to the next thing they can do. If there's nothing else, they read, or they have free time to roam outside, create something, play with kittens, mull, write or read. Don't underestimate the importance of "free time" and "free play"- kids need time and space to just "be."

For those who are working outside of the home, this presents it's own unique set of problems in managing Homeshcool. Some moms have hired Nanny's who do the schoolwork, others have significant other's or in-laws who manage school, others work swing shifts and probably all of us don't sleep as much as we'd like.

Call to Action:
Define your compelling reasons to homeschool.
Define your compelling reasons to work.
Define 3 areas that require focus and create action steps to make your focus more effective.

I'd love to hear from you. What are your compelling reasons for Homeschooling while working. How do you stay focused at Work and at Home?

Be sure to stop by my fellow Crewbies for some more great reading this week.
Kathy @ Kathys Cluttered Mind ~ Fieldtripping Fun
Leah @ As We Walk Along the Road ~ Great Kids Reads
Shalynne @ Wonderfully Chaotic ~ Birth and Babies
Lisa Marie @ The Canadian Homeschooler ~ Canadian Teachers Pay Teachers Stores
Kemi @ Homemaking Organized ~ Homekeeping for Girls and Boys
Heather @ Only Passionate Curiosity ~ Planning Your Homeschool Year
Nikki @ Angels of Heart ~ Easter: The Cross for Preschoolers
Jenn @ Treasuring Life's Blessings ~ Family Friendly Finger Food
Lisa @ Golden Grasses ~ The Working Woman's Guide to Homeschooling

Also be sure to head over to Schoolhouse Review Crew Blog to see what all 60 of my fellow crew members are blogging about this week for their 5 day blog hop!

@Golden Grasses 2008-2013. All photographs, artwork and text are the property of the owner unless otherwise stated. Don't miss a thing! Subscribe to Golden Grasses and get our articles right to your inbox!

Nitty Gritty Monday- Learn to Make Lists That Clear Your Mind





Next week I'll be participating in another 5 Day Blog Hop sponsored by the Homeschool Review Crew. My Crewbies and I have been planning, prepping and posting, in order to bring you another week of fantastic reading on a plethora of topics ranging from Educational Apps, Organization, Field Trips, Mnemonics and so much more. My topic will be

The Working Woman's Guide to Homeschooling.

 

Homeschooling is growing - and for good reason- and those of us working while homecshooling are growing by leaps and bounds as well.

 

If you work seasonally, part time or full time, I hope this series will speak to you. I've interviewed several working Homeschooling Moms for this series to bring btdt wisdome to you!

 

To whet your appetite for what's to come I wanted to introduce you to my blogger buddy, Mystie. We "met" on-line last year in a fantastic thread on Getting Things Done, inspired by the book of the same name by David Allen.  Mystie took the concepts in Allen's book and made them accessible and do-able for homeschoolers.  When you are done reading, take a minute to stop by Mystie's blog- she has tons of resources and helps for homeschoolers!

Learn to Make Lists That Clear Your Mind

I first read the time-management classic, Getting Things Done, about eight years ago, and implemented a few of its strategies. Almost three years later, after my fourth baby turned one, I returned to it again, because four children and a lack of sleep severely affected my brain power. Following his instructions, even though they are targeted at business people, yielded amazing results in mental clarity. We all go through seasons that feel like we are perpetual drowning. Sometimes, no matter how much I do, it never feels like progress is made.

 

Going through the steps outlined in Getting Things Done helps me to overcome that feeling and slowly climb back into the driver seat of my routines, my stuff, and my responsibilities. The book is all about “black-belt” list-making. I slowly worked at implementing a more complete GTD system, and every step yielded significant improvement in my peace of mind by banishing that awful, constant nagging sense of things unknown left undone and that sense upon entering any room or glancing any direction and seeing only things that you should do, but aren’t.

 

“Anxiety,” claims David Allen in Getting Things Done, “is caused by a lack of control, organization, preparation, and action.” He posits that most people know how to plan and they know what to do, they just don’t do it. So his book is a step-by-step coaching towards doing completely and well what most people only do in crises or in a scattered manner. Getting Things Done is about managing your stuff and your actions, and once those are under control, your mind is left more free and clear to focus on the present moment with your family. In GTD for Homemakers, I take his principles and make them practical for our situation as involved, busy mothers, giving examples that relate to our lives, rather than assuming an office setting.

 

GTD for Homemakers is not about turning our homes and families into a well-oiled machine, but about being in control of our tasks and stuff rather than letting them control us, so that instead of running around like chickens with heads cut off, we may be more free and calm to clearly see what the right "next thing" is to do.

 

If you’d like to try this process for yourself, explained step-by-step by someone who knows what life at home with littles is like, check out GTD for Homemakers.  This week only, use discount code laughing to get 30% off! bio: Mystie Winckler is a wife, mother, homemaker, and home-educator. Mystie has been married for twelve years to her only sweetheart, Matt, and both are homeschool graduates themselves. Now they raise & educate their five young children at home. Mystie blogs at Simply Convivial on homemaking and home-educating and at Simplified Organization about organization and productivity for intentional moms. You can receive her ebook, A Quickstart Guide to GTD for Moms for free! –Mystie

 

"The business done in the home is nothing less than the shaping of the bodies and souls of humanity." – G.K. Chesterton Simply Convivial: Weekend Reads Simple Pantry Cooking: What’s for Dinner? Menu Plan Monday

Stop by all next week for more great posts!

@Golden Grasses 2008-2013. All photographs, artwork and text are the property of the owner unless otherwise stated. Don't miss a thing! Subscribe to Golden Grasses and get our articles right to your inbox!

Nitty Gritty Monday- When Your Life Collides with Pain

I'd like to introduce you to my sweet blogger buddy, Wren. She has an amazing testimony that almost didn't make it to this blog! I think God just wanted her testimony to His love published today for some reason, instead of a few months ago! Wren's words touched my heart and I pray that they touch yours. God loves you, even in midst of pain and suffering!

 

What do you do when pain collides with your life?  I’m speaking here about life circumstances that bring you pain:  pain that hits your spirit, that takes your breath away, that connects on some level with a deep pain from your past that you’ve maybe even forgotten about.  The difficult experiences you’ve had with jobs, family members or friends, or losses that impacted your life and left you unsure and uncertain about how to proceed.  (Do you want to stop reading now?  If you do, I get it…I’ve been there myself! J)

 

I’ve been on a journey for the past 18 months that started with some ignored physical pain.  Eventually, that physical pain sent me to the hospital and resulted in two VERY unexpected and unplanned-for surgeries….followed by months of healing and recovery.  I’m truly thankful for God’s great healing in my physical body; but I’m also so appreciative for something unexpected He did during that time.  He gently and lovingly showed me some heart issues that I’d really been completely unaware of, that were impacting my daily abilities to live life and to love others and God.  But suddenly, when I could do so little besides rest and heal, there was time and space for me to see; to hear; and to take action in new ways.

I discovered that I was relatively inexperienced in dealing with pain, to my utter and complete surprise!  (I’d thought that I was extremely responsible and adult in all my dealings.  Not!)

Have you ever noticed that the habits we pick up in childhood can carry over quite completely into our adult lives?  Perhaps this is true for you, and perhaps not; but what I’ve seen in myself and in my dealings with God is that He carefully pulls me aside, shows me some wrong thinking or doing that often comes from a hurt or decision made in my younger years, and He reveals “the path of life” for me that is better:  HIS path of life. 

One of the crucial things I learned this year is that I used things and actions to deaden emotional pain I was feeling.  I dearly loved to read as a child, and I still do.  Now, certainly, there is nothing inherently wrong with the activity of reading!  However, as I look back over my life, I can see that when I was cut to the heart with pain as a little girl, I sought escape from that pain by diving into imaginary stories of other people.  And you know, those lovely stories DID deaden that pain!  They made me forget what I was feeling.  They helped me to move on and to regain my footing, so to speak. 

What they did NOT do was help me heal.  Instead, the painful experiences got buried deep in my heart and covered over until, as I grew, they were simply forgotten and unrecognizable to me.  But, they were still there…and unbeknownst to me, they still influenced my thoughts, my behavior and my beliefs. 

As I grew to adulthood, I still loved to read, but I also discovered that I absolutely loved leadership, teaching and serving.  Again, there is nothing inherently wrong with any of these activities!  And obviously each one can be an outworking of a spiritual gift that God has lovingly planted inside us.  What I found, though, was that the more I served in some way, the better I felt about myself; and as a side benefit, the less time or energy I had to think about painful or difficult things.  In many ways I spent years skipping from activity to activity, loving what I was doing….but wearing myself out in the process and never really having time to think, to hear or to heal.

When the Lord permitted me to be sidelined for a time due to those surgeries, He gave me an incredible gift.  Suddenly I was unable to DO anything.  No serving.  No outside teaching (although by His great grace and enabling, I was able continue to homeschool our son).  No leadership.  Nothing but time to sit, ponder, wonder, and be.  With God and with my family.  I quoted a portion of Psalm 16:11 above, and here’s what that entire verse says:

“You make known to me the path of life;

You will fill me with joy in Your presence,

with eternal pleasures at Your right hand.”

As I had time and room to do little else besides be at home with my family, God created a place in my life where I could hear His still, small voice…and we began to look at those deep places of pain together, as He set me out on a new path.  I was able to process some of these in prayer with a beloved pastor, and others with my husband; still others on my own with the Lord in journaling or in prayer.  He also sent some wonderful books that helped me along in my process:  Margaret Becker’s Coming Up for Air; and Denise Hildreth Jones’ fiction book Secrets Over Sweet Tea and her nonfiction Reclaiming Your Heart.  These last two were especially crucial, because I learned that my strategies of coping via books and activities in the end didn’t heal the pain my heart was experiencing, they shut the pain, and consequently, my heart, down.  And I believe God’s desire is for us to experience life with hearts fully alive to Him and to others.  How else are we to love our God with ALL our heart, if parts of our hearts are deadened or shut down?

I have not mastered the art, completely, of fully living.  Yet I am on a journey with the God who loves me of finding that new path of His, that path containing fullness of joy and pleasures forevermore.  Each time I experience a new difficulty, pain or problem, I have a choice.  Will I bring it to Him and seek the truth about it?  Will I feel the pain, even though it’s not particularly pleasant?  Or will I return to my old ways of deadening the pain through ignoring it by busying myself in other activities?

I certainly have that choice.  God isn’t going to force me to feel or do anything.  Yet He so desires to lead me in His way, and to enable me to walk through my difficulties wearing the easy and gentle yoke of Christ.  To help me not to lean on my own understanding, but to acknowledge Him in all my ways and allow Him to direct my paths.

My prayer these days when I hit a difficult patch, when I’m feeling pain myself or experiencing a troubling circumstance, is this:  “Show me your ways, Lord, teach me Your paths.  Guide me in Your truth and teach me, for You are God my Savior, and in You is my hope all day long.”  (Psalm 25:4-5)  I ask God what He wants to show me; what is the truth about the situation or my feelings; and if there might be a lie I’m believing.  I haven’t mastered this yet, and sometimes I revert to my old ways without even noticing.  But freedom comes when I choose to walk through the difficulties with God….and on the other side of the struggles and even IN them, there is hope.

If any of this resonates with you, let me encourage you.  Get away to a quiet place, if you can.  Ask the Lord to open your eyes to see the things He’d desire to heal in you.  He will be so gentle and tender with you, but He will definitely lead you in truth.  Ask Him to connect you with faithful believing friends who will pray for you, who can counsel you.   Write down Scriptures that resonate, or thoughts He has that show you new things.  It may be difficult to walk it through….but remember the outcome:  “In Your presence is fullness of joy!”

Wren Reynolds seeks to live in God’s fullness of joy.  She is married to the best man ever, whom she met on the mission field, and they have one amazing son whom they’ve homeschooled from the beginning.  They love playing games together, eating good food, Marvel Superheroes and Lego.  You can find Wren at finchnwren.com.

@Golden Grasses 2008-2013. All photographs, artwork and text are the property of the owner unless otherwise stated. Don't miss a thing! Subscribe to Golden Grasses and get our articles right to your inbox!

You Gotta Have Art!

What the VCF is (the short version):The Virtual Curriculum Fair is a month-long blog carnival that posts each Monday throughout January (we do skip “New Year’s” week) hosted by my blogger buddy, Susan, over at Homeschooling Hearts and Minds. The idea behind VCF is for participants to give other homeschoolers a peek into what they are really doing with their kiddos that works for them and why.
In case you've missed the rest of the months posts, here they are:
Week 1: Language Arts
Week 2: How to Teach Math, Logic and Patterns
Week 3: World Exploration: Social and Physical Sciences

I'm a closet artist, and a crafter to the core and consider art fundamental to real education. We've done lots of art and music over the years; and it's morphed and changed with regularity given how many kids we've had at home, where we've lived and the resources we've had.

Year end recital

While we love music, play it often, look for more, it's taken more or less a back seat in our lives as far as teaching it. Our older girls took piano lessons for years and then we lost our piano in the fire. We recently discovered Adventus, which can be done on-line via keyboard; piano lessons, reading and games. Good stuff.
We've also had the excellent fortune of being part of a co-op that offered chorale taught by serious musicians, which our kids loved. They know zillions of songs, from silly to profound and sing with regularity.

Art, too, has been mainly handled by capable and wonderful art teachers and co-op, who have done taught amazing projects, crafts and art skills, along with our true blue artist friend, who happens to sometimes offer clay classes.

My contribution is always basic and maybe boring, but drawing skills are what I focus on: Draw Right Now Books, Usborne Beginning Drawing, Bruce McIntyre's Drawing Textbook, et al., Mark Kistler's books and Drawing on the Right Side of Your Brain. Drawing is the grammar of all art and my kids leave home with the ability to draw- which is learned, just like Grammar or basic math. It's a foundational communication method, so it's a must do at the Gracious Heart Homeschool.
They all have also felt very comfortable with a paint brush in hand and have created some beautiful paintings.

Cartoons and comics are also de riguer around here and teach so much: the succinct telling of a joke, a good punch line, tropes, editing and humor- all done in 3 stills. That's economy, baby. Bill Watterson, of Calvin and Hobbes fame, is a perennial favorite, along with Charlie Brown and Garfield. See how we love him....

We garden. Which is not so much about making art, though it is profoundly artistic,  as participating in something bigger than ourselves.

Easter Garden How To

Garden

We build stuff. Furniture and walls and door frames, etc. (check out the Tear Down posts to see all of the creative endeavors our house re-build has demanded). Art is more than pencil and paper and our kids have learned how to handle power tools, read directions, follow through and clean up on seriously large projects.

They have learned to Build Furniture, using Ana White's site. And they  have contributed to making something beautiful out of this house

from the bottom: Floors

 

on up: house painting

 

We've been involved in dramatic performances for years; from skits and plays

at drama camp to

 the annual 6 days a week 8 hours a day practice, culminating in a a 2 hour production of a Shakespeare! performance.

 

We've done tons of poetry memorization, including Horatius at the Bridge and the Poetry Outloud Competition.

And, not to forget, local homeschoolers gets together twice a month to go ballroom dancing (jr. high and up). The kids come out in force and dance their hearts out, ending in a semi-formal every year, started by, you  guessed it, other fantastic homeschooling parents!

 

I have big plans every year to incorporate a Great Courses Art or Music appreciation course. Really. But until that happens, I rely on Veritas Press History and Bible Cards to give my kids a great overview of world class art. I'm dying to get my hands on the Memoria Press art cards, too!

 

Join in the fun! How do you incorporate art in your life?

Please visit my fellow homeschool bloggers as they share how they seek beauty in the world around them!

@Golden Grasses 2008-2013. All photographs, artwork and text are the property of the owner unless otherwise stated. Don't miss a thing! Subscribe to Golden Grasses and get our articles right to your inbox!

World Exploration -Social and Physical Sciences-Virtual Curriculum Fair Week 3



This is last year's post from the Virtual Curriculum Fair on the Social and Physical Sciences. I hope you take a minute to check it out because it lists so many of my favorite resources.

It's also worth a mention that we start history and science studies young and use the lasagna learning method. Layering information-books, movies, fields trips, computer programs, the dictionary, presentations, CD's, etc. We often use more than one curriculum to teach a subject, creating richness and depth.



This year we are using a number of different resources for both history and science study- Flower is in 5/6th grade and Cub is in 8th.

D'Aulaires Greek Myths on CD
Story of the World on CD- I mention this every year. Yes, my kids listen to it over and over.
Historical Fiction from great publishing companies like Bethlehem Books
Veritas Press History and Bible Cards -160 Cards in each.
Pre-scripts from Classical Conversations- history sentences along with cursive and drawing study
Mapping the World with Art in co-op- with a Geography Bee at the end of the semester.
The Mere Christianity Critical Analysis Journal
Map and Globe study as we read/interest driven-we have a world map on the wall in the living  room, a couple of very cool atlas's and a globe or two hanging around.
History of the Medieval World on CD
Apologia Biology for High School - textbook.
Flying Creatures of the 5th Day MP3
Memoria Press Geography II

In addition, as I've mentioned before, they are frequently on the NOAA and NASA web-sites.
Both kids also sit in on our Ha Yesoed Bible Study every week.

We have several magazine laying around the house that are frequently read and discussed- Science News, Biblical Archaeological Review and God's World News.

For years we followed a four year history cycle, but we have foregone that in the past couple of years, as the kids have devled into self directed areas of interest. What are you using this year for world exploration?

Please visit my fellow homeschool bloggers as they share the curriculum that they use to teach the Social and Physical Sciences:

@Golden Grasses 2008-2013. All photographs, artwork and text are the property of the owner unless otherwise stated. Don't miss a thing! Subscribe to Golden Grasses and get our articles right to your inbox!

20 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Started Homeschooling

We've homeschooled for over 2 decades now. Naive little homeschooler that I was, way back in the day, I thought homeschooling was really all about the 3 R's. Which it is, at it's most basic, but so very much more. My blogger buddy, Kayla, over at Arrowood Zoo, made a great list of things she wished she knew before she started homeschooling, and I thought I'd join in the fun. Besides, Monday kicks of the 3rd Annual Virtual Curriculum Fair and I thought this was a great tie in before me and 30 other super bloggers share some Nitty Gritty's about curriculum (for more info about the VCF, keep reading!) So, without further ado, here it is: my list of 20 Things I Wish I Knew about Homeschooling.

1. Homeschooling will change you. Don't think it won't. In ways you never expected or could see coming.

2.  People will think you are brave, courageous, crazy, radical and challenging. People will laugh at you, revere you, keep you at arms length and make sure you know that they aren't patient as you and that they don't like their kid as much as you apparently do.

3. Homeschooling will take you off the beaten path. Once you've veered off the beaten path, your life might go in directions you never dreamed or imagined. One little veer away from "normal" and "average" leads to a whole lot more faster than you think.

4. Feel the fear and let it drive you to do something great along the way.

5. What is innate joy for one person can be painful drudgery for another. Just because your oldest can do the multiplication tables at age 5 doesn't mean your 3rd kid can. Kids are individuals. Just because your friend can homeschool 10 kids, keep a spotless house and work from home, doesn't mean that you can. Homeschooling allows you to honor the individuals in your home, including yourself, if you let it.

6. It's just as important to embrace and encourage your kids in their areas of strength and passion as it is to shore up their areas of weakness. Do not sacrifice one for the other.

7. Your kids will grow up and have minds of their own. Especially if you homeschool. No formula, curriculum, or parenting technique can assure that they remain faithful to educational freedom, love or anything else. They will, at some point, make their own choices and they might make you proud, break your heart and probably both.

8. Anyone who tells you that homeschooling is easy is trying to sell you something. It's a job. Jobs take work, effort, energy, time, money and intentionality. It can be fun and satisfying, but it's often not easy.

9. For the most part and for most people, living on one income is expensive and a job in itself. Don't underestimate the pressure of forced frugality. Find fun, no matter what your income. In the same vein, working while homeschooling is challenging on many levels.

10. Don't underestimate your ability to creatively overcome the difficulties, expense and challenge of homeschooling, having kids, living on one income or not knowing stuff.  You are far more creative and resourceful than you realize.

11. Organizational systems and management skills are necessary, even if they don't come naturally to you.  They will allow you to accomplish homeschooling, save your sanity, keep everyone in clean clothes and well fed. Lack thereof can and will tank homeschooling faster than anything else.

12. Your kids will grow up faster than the speed of sound. Raising them up close and personal is one of the sweetest gifts you can give yourself and your kids, despite what you sacrifice to do so.

13. All you really need for elementary school is a great library and art supplies.

14. Utilize your "servants" as much as possible; it doesn't mean you are "cheating," it means you are making the most of what you have: CD and DVD players, computers, on-line stuff, co-ops, class-days, etc. The homeschooling world is richer than ever. Take advantage of it.

15. Take care of yourself. Drink more water, or this, which is better than water. Work out, learn a hobby, continue your education, make friends, pray.

16. Take care of your marriage. A good one is hard to find, so make the one you have the best it can be.

17. Homeschooling is a method and a tool, not a panacea for the world's ills. It won't save anyone, make them brilliant or assure admittance to an Ivy League. If the tool of homeschooling stops working, use a different tool.

18. Homeschooling High School can be challenging, but it's also a blast. Just keep feeling the fear (see # 4) and do it anyway.

19. The homeschooling world continues to grow, expand, change and become richer, broader and more diverse. Look for and embrace the change; it might lead to a wild adventure (see # 3 above).

20. Be willing to create what's not readily available where you live (co-ops, class days, camps for starters) and bless others (see # 10 above).

With all of that in mind, you might want to get down to some Nitty Gritty's. Monday kicks off the 3rd Annual Virtual Curriculum Fair at Homeschooling Hearts and Minds.

This year’s dates and themes (links will be added here as each theme goes live):

1. January 6th---Playing with Words: the Language Arts---includes phonics, reading, writing, grammar, spelling, speech, literature, etc., etc., etc. Latin and foreign language studies could also go here.
2. January 13th---Discovering Patterns: Mathematics, Logic, and Science---includes anything to do with mathematics, mathematical thinking, numbers, arithmetic, symbolic logic, critical thinking, and math-y sciences (physics, chemistry, etc.).
3. January 20th---Exploring Our World: Social Studies and more Science---includes history, geography, world cultures, worldview, biology, botany, geology, etc., etc., etc.
4. January 27th---Seeking Beauty: the Arts and Everything that Brings Beauty to Our World---includes any of the arts, handicrafts, but really ANYTHING at all that adds beauty to your homeschool.

This year's participants come from all over the country and from all walks of life. Check out this awesome list of homeschoolers who are going to share what they know with you this month!

Leah Courtney @ As We Walk Along the Road 
Laura Hoggard @ Four Little Penguins 
Christy @ Unexpected Homeschool
Kristi K. @ The Potter's Hand Academy 
Amy @ Eclectic Homeschooling
Tauna @ Proverbial Homemaker 
Renata @ Sunnyside Farm Fun 
Jessica @ Modest Mama
Laura O in AK @ Day by Day in Our World 
Nicole @ Schooling in the Sun 
Jennifer @ a glimpse of our life 
Mary from Texas @ Winecup Christian Homeschool 
Stacie @ Super Mommy to the Rescue 
Lisa @ Golden Grasses
Laurie @ Our Abundant Blessings 
Lori Moffit @ My Journeys Through Life 
Michele Pleasants @ Family, Faith and Fridays
Brittney @ Mom's Heart 
Monique B @ Living life and learning 
Jeniffer D @ Thou Shall Not Whine 
Kristen H. @ Sunrise to Sunset 
Christa @ Fairfield Corner Academy
Debra @ Footprints in the Butter
Kim @ Homestead Acres 
Chelli @ The Planted Trees 
Hillary M @ Our Homeschool Studio 
Sharra Badgley @ The Homeschool Marm
Lynn P @ Ladybug Chronicles

@Golden Grasses 2008-2013. All photographs, artwork and text are the property of the owner unless otherwise stated. Don't miss a thing! Subscribe to Golden Grasses and get our articles right to your inbox!

Life Warning: It's More Than You Can Handle

 

I had a conversation with a 50 year old-ish acquaintance recently who was sharing that in the past year her older brother, younger sister and dog of 17 years had died. Just a few weeks ago, her cat died. She concluded this list of losses, by apologetically stating, "But, God does not give you more than you can handle."


  I don't agree. I flat out disagree. I think that's a lie of religion and bad theology.

Having had a few years of overwhelming loss myself, I think I can safely, from experience say, that God often allows us to experience more than we can handle. To think that he wouldn't, that He would keep us safely ensconced in Christian nice-ville, is one of the current heresies of our age.

Another friend of mine has severely disabled child. It's their fourth. Another friend has a traumatically disabled child. It's their sixth, and adopted. Two of her other children also have disabilities, and she cares for her disabled sister. We know people with devastating medical bills, financial stresses that no amount of work will fix (hello, socialized medicine), those who are overwhelmed by homeschooling and on and on. Can these people handle it? Not really, no. They cope. They cry out. They pray for their Kinsmen-Redeemer (that would be the Lord, y'all) to make a way, they get depressed (lots of the faithful did and do). They carry on.

The first gal mentioned says she feels vunerable and weak now, in a way that she never did before her fourth, disabled daughter, was born. My second friend laughs instead of crying. I blog.

And here's the deal. The world will offer simple platitudes: quit having more kids; put your disabled sister in a home, don't adopt the orphan who would die without a family to care for her, the school system is just fine; get a job, live the status-quo, quit acting like what's normal isn't good enough for you (homeschooling insult #37), let someone else take care of it, don't bother, save for retirement, think about yourself, live the dream.

Someone commented that being weak and vulnerable is a great place to meet Jesus. When we are strong we don't spend a lot of time seeking. We have it going on. Dont' get me wrong. I love competency. One of my biggest struggles the last 1/2 decade is that I've been thrown into one area after another in which I am not competent. I've been on the upward slope of an incessant learning curve. It's been painful, hard, exhausting work. I hate that.  And frankly, people are not kind towards the incompetent and faltering. Because, they reason, (read justify), if I can make a go of it, why can't you? Because, they reason, how did you get to be this old and not know this stuff yet?

The deal is that houses burn, healthy people have disabled babies, siblings and parents die young, pets don't live forever, adoption agencies lie in desperate situations, faithful people take risks, and there are no guarantees about outcomes.

The story of Gladys Alward, former Christian missionary to China, recounts a touching and tragic tale. Jennie Lawson, her mentor in China, who trail blazed the the work before Gladys arrived, had a Chinese helper who became a Christian. At one point, Jennie, her helper and their church was rounded up by the Communists and told to recant their faith in Christ. They refused. The terrorists took the family of Jennie's helper- his wife and children- locked them into a hut in front of them, and burned them alive. He was forced to stand helplessly by and watch, hearing the cries of his family as they burned, begging God to intervene.

That, my friends, was more than he could handle. He did not recant his faith, but he was never really o.k. after that. My guess is that if it were now, we would say he had PTSD and clinical depression. But really, what he had was a case of devastating loss, incredibly cruelty and a mortal brain that could not fathom what God would mean by this for him- in other words a case of far more than he could handle. We live in such a dressed up, clinically sterile church in America, we forget that suffering is the way of the Cross. We forget that God makes all things new. But in order to do that, we have to offer him the old, the worn-out, the devastated, the mess, the heart-ache, the bills, the disease.

The fall of our house fire Dr. Dh had started teaching the book of Job to a group of young men. They joked every week about how our life was so "Job-like". It was funny to a point, but hard to live it. And it just kept getting more intense. The reality is that God allows Satan to sift the faithful. And if you consider yourself faithful and have never been sifted, or are not currently being sifted, I would encourage your to reconsider your status as, "faithful." I'm not encouraging you to find debt or disease just for the sake of it, but I am saying maybe you need to take more risks for your faith. Quite living so safely.

God loves the weak and vulnerable. He is tenderhearted towards those who can't handle it. He redeems them. And when we have more than we can handle, He steps in and makes a way. When we are overwhelmed by circumstances and choices and bizarre happenings in our life and are miraculously redeemed, we know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that it was not of ourselves, but the Lord, who acted on our behalf.

Prov 3:34- God opposes the proud, but gives favor to the humble.

The Message (MSG) 2 Corinthians 4:5-6

Remember, our Message is not about ourselves; we’re proclaiming Jesus Christ, the Master. All we are is messengers, errand runners from Jesus for you. It started when God said, “Light up the darkness!” and our lives filled up with light as we saw and understood God in the face of Christ, all bright and beautiful.

@Golden Grasses 2008-2013. All photographs, artwork and text are the property of the owner unless otherwise stated. Don't miss a thing! Subscribe to Golden Grasses and get our articles right to your inbox!