Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Crooked Places

1 walker, 1 knee stabilizer, 1 visit to my kind and compassionate chiropractor, and 2 x-rays  later and I have some answers about why my knee has sued for divorce.
1. I either have a torn patella, which requires total knee rest for several days or
2. torn cartilage in my knee which requires an MRI, and surgery.

I choose Door #1.
To test the efficacy of this choice I am resting my knee. This means armchair management.
 Just for the record, I'd rather do.

KB has been doing more than her fair share of  cleaning, errands, and etceteras, creating dinner each night before she leaves for work, it has been far more creative and tasty than normal.
Cub has undergone laundry initiation rites.
Feche continues to run herd on the dogs, trash and the rest of the etceteras.
Flower is support staff and has undergone coffee grinding and brewing initiation rites.
Miss R has called from KY and has her class mates and room mates praying for me.
The trusty Fuzzband does everything he's been doing as well as getting up with me in the middle of the night when I move wrong and end up crying.
I am resting my knee. And being very grateful for my tribe of do-ers.

And I am meditating on this Truth:
When I am weak, He is strong.
And, oh baby, I've been weak this year.
Emotionally weak cause my house burned and my sister died and my Dad died and we have changed and changed and changed what we own and where we live and how we live a lot this year.
Socially weak cause I've had very little to offer anybody this year beyond a lot of neediness.
Physically weak cause my knee doesn't work and gives out on me, causing me to stumble and drop things and illicit help from complete strangers.
Spiritually weak cause I am just maxed out. I know the verses, the theology, the doctrine.  And the knee thing, if it is something that requires surgery will be huge expense, into the thousands of dollars, and won't be covered by insurance. And the choice between crushing debt or crippling pain seems scary to me, despite knowing that God is on my side.

Viking Man was listening to one of our favorite pastors last night, Chuck Swindoll, who was talking about how the enemy is prowling, seeking whom He might devour. Prowling means hunting, stalking, waiting for the kill. And this knee situation is just another, out of the blue, pesonal and specific attack.
Part of Pastor Chuck's sermon last night was the reminder that our brothers and sister sin Christ the world over are suffering for the name of Christ. And I think my troubles and trust issues are really small cake walks in the very grand scheme of things. At least I have choices. There are doctors to go to and hospitals with payment plans.

I know I'm in a battle. Physically, with  my knee, and Spiritually with the enemy of my soul. I am trusting that Jesus is advocating on my behalf and that He will heal my knee. That he will make straight the crooked paths in my soul that believe but still doubt, too.

Whatever it is you are battling today, I pray that your faith is strengthened through the trials,  and that the Lover of your soul redeems the battle field, making straight the crooked places in your life.

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