Monday, October 7, 2013

Dreams Unfulfilled- Reality Misunderstood- Part III

My long-time and dear friend has shared her heart and struggles with GG readers, and she does so again today. As promised, Part III of "Dreams Unfulfilled-Reality Misunderstood" (Part I and Part II).

A few people have asked me to  talk about where my family is now, in response to Part I and II, so I will give it a go. The purpose is to see how God has and still is working in each situation.

I will start with my husband. Phil, was a diabetic from the time he was 13. By the time he was in his mid to late 30's his kidneys were going bad. About 11 years ago or so he became very ill, lost his job, and then found out his kidney's were failing. The doctors said it would be about 6 mo and he would be on dialysis. It was 6 Years!!!! One blessing from God. God got us through until we moved to a city with a large medical center and got established with good jobs etc, before we had to face the trials of dialysis. My husband worked full time through his dialysis which is a miracle!!! It took about 6 -8 months for him to get worked up and on the transplant list for a kidney and a pancreas. Estimated time for that was 2-5 years. Dialysis was very tiring for him. Two months after going on the transplant list, my husband received his transplant!! Praise God he didn't have to go through years of dialysis and he was out of the hospital in 3 days and back to work in 2 months!!! All this happened while our world was falling apart with our children!!! God knew, we couldn't handle my husband being debilitated for any length of time along with all that we would be going through with our kids. It has been 6 years since his transplant.

My oldest son got deeply involved it trafficking drugs and became addicted to Meth. He had been to jail on some minor charges in the midst of all that. We had to ask him to leave our home at one point as we still had minor children in the home to care for. This was more painful than you can imagine as his lifestyle caused him to do some very horrible things, and has hurt out family beyond imagination. One day, he showed up on the door step looking like the walking dead in slippers, carrying a suitcase and nothing else. He said he couldn't live like that any longer. We made stipulations on letting him back in the home. He withdrew from the drugs at home and then he joined the Military for 6 years and became a staff sergeant. He has saved money and is going to college now and living at home. He has a 4.0 GPA and is doing well. There are still things to work on in his life, but God has blessed us with my son recognizing his weakness to addiction and staying away from people that could cause him to fall, even if it is a family member.

One of my other sons has been to jail for felony burglary as a minor. He is a very angry young man, but recently has figured out that he doesn't have enough discipline in his life. We have allowed him to move home, and little by little things are coming to pass. He is working on quitting smoking, and he has gone back to karate class. He participates in the family with chores and cleaning. He also holds down a full time job. That is something he has never done without much fighting and arguing. There are many little baby steps. Too many to tell them all, but I am no longer looking for the big miracle, I am content to see some progress. Aren't we all just a work of God in progress? Some of us slow, some of us fast.

Our 3rd son, has just been blissfully meandering through life. He is very laid back and a follower. He recently made the choice to go away to school and we are helping him out. He trips and stumbles, making foolish decisions at times. I would consider him the most "normal" of the 4 children we have. No major offenses, just being a foolish youth. Won't I be elated when he "grows up." I remain thankful he does not have jail on his resume of life! He is only taking a slightly scenic route. I thank God for having mercy on me with this child!

My daughter has had many, many, many trials in life, from molestation, to rape, drug addiction, alcoholism, pregnancy, and arrest and conviction for burglary. She is still going through most of it, although she will say she is not. Addiction is one big denial. It is difficult to express all we have had to endure and deal with and still deal with. Some days it is hard to see God in any of it. We actually went through the severe emotional and financial burden of suing for custody for my grand daughter. In the end, we worked out a deal for her to go to rehab, then she could regain custody of her daughter. We did this to save pitting family members against one another and having all this aired out in court. She did her rehab and took back custody of our grand daughter. I would like to say all is well. I can say, all is not as bad as it was. I have to look at the positive aspects in her life. She has not been arrested for 8 years and did all she had to do legally. She loves her daughter very much. She has a room mate that takes exceptional care of my grand daughter. I get to see my grand daughter when I want to as that was in jeopardy for a while. We take our grand daughter to church every week. In the middle of our struggle my daughter reported me for child neglect to CPS and called the police on me. Life has not been pretty. It is only by the grace of God and can breathe each day.

What keeps me going concerning my daughter, is the victories we have seen with my husband and other children. How do I handle all the issues with her? Buy being as loving, kind, patient, forgiving, merciful, and full of grace as I can. I have to do that, as that is what God does for me each and every day when I fall!!!!

So what is Today's Reality? I realize it will never be perfect here on earth. I savor and rejoice over whatever small victory comes my way. I remain thankful for the small things as I look for healing in my family. Most of all, I remember, our complete healing may never be seen here on earth. One day, I will stand before God and my life will be totally healed!! I praise God for that hope and pray for the salvation of all that are lost!!!

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1 comment:

SarahElisabeth Jones said...

Good to read this testimony of God's faithfulness through trials.